Upon reading the title, you might think I’ve finally lost it. I promise you I haven’t.
In what is a different post to usual, I’m going to tell a story. If you’ll indulge the slight change in theme, I’d be forever grateful. I’m going to tell the story of the beginning of my writing pursuits through three of the greatest stories you’ll ever hear.
I loved to write as a kid. I started way back in 2008, in the spare room at my Grandparent’s house. I didn’t have my own computer at this point since I was only 9, and we weren’t yet glued to screens like brainless zombies. So these pieces of art I assembled were littered in the “My Documents” section of my Grandparent’s Dell laptop.
I began my writing career with three revolutionary, groundbreaking stories, I wrote of a dragon, a flying carpet, and a Wild West party in three separate short stories. Reading these stories back makes it clear that I’m a generational writing talent.
I laugh and try to put myself in 9-year-old Dylan’s shoes. What inspired me to write these stories? Was it just a free-flowing imagination, with no labels on life? Or was it that I had no idea what the world really was, so I created my own? I guess I’ll never know, but the one thing that stands out is I was so matter-of-fact, and carefree.
For what I hope will be entertaining, I’m going to break down my favourite sections from these stories, so you too can see the genius behind the Dell laptop. Even if you don’t find it entertaining, that’s ok. I honestly find myself far too funny.
I’ll provide some of my favourite lines, changing absolutely nothing about the grammar, so beware:
The Wild West Party:
the next day jack went to the shop and bought a cowboy costume and tried it on. “it fits” said jack.so he paid for the cowboy costume and took it home.
it was the night of the party and jack set off in his shiny silver car.it was all dark and horrible.
The Flying Carpet:
There was once a man called Conor who lived in a tin house in a place called Ashton. He worked at a shop called Cool Freeze which only sold frozen foods.
However Connor just stopped frozen like he was in freezing Antarctica. He saw a flying carpet.
Connor ran as fast as he could to his car. His family where already inside ,“where have you been?” said mum in her best bossy voice.“Nowhere” said Connor and they sped off down the street.
The Dragon:
Over the next few days Joshua was busy building something, he built all day and all night every day of the week. In the end it turned out to be a dragon with light up eyes.
A few weeks past and Joshua was ready for his party. He had his red knight costume on and his dragon was set up ready to go. He set off at 5.00pm and arrived at 5.30pm. He got his dragon out of his car and it began to fly. However its eyes turned red and it began to breathe fire. It looked like it had a mind of its own!
If it’s not already clear why these stories set me up for global success as a writer, let me break it down for you.
There are a few consistent themes in these stories; they all occurred in the town of Ashton, which upon reflection is a rather exciting place. Perhaps the most exciting in the world. After a quick Google search, I found that Ashton-Under-Lyme is a real place within the Greater Manchester area here in the UK. Can somebody who lives in Ashton-Under-Lyme please confirm if you have dragons, flying carpets, and Wild West parties?
Now, when it comes to these fictional stories, I know the ending is important. It had to have a satisfying payoff for all the characters involved. I think I decided to go for the shock factor in these stories, often ending the narrative in one sharp sentence. You were so surprised by the abrupt insanity of the previous story you just had to start the next one.
The Wild West Party ended with Jack and his friend Fred showing up on the wrong date. It’s comforting to see that I was already a comedic genius back in 2008.
The Dragon Story ended in a similar way. After the unfortunate demise of the dragon that the protagonist Joshua constructed, it’s revealed in a shocking twist that his best friend John also got an invite, and these guys showed up on the correct date! What a win! Everybody ignored the fact that a fire-breathing dragon came to life and then lay slain upon the driveway, and the party was a rampant success. I’d imagine anybody who read the previous Wild West Party felt screwed at reading two stories with similar endings, but it’s my series of stories, I’ll do what I want.
The Flying Carpet was a different story entirely, almost a revolutionary piece of writing that should be studied for years to come. I can’t believe it isn’t a bestseller. Connor left his tin house with his family to head to the beach. Please don’t ask why they lived in a tin house, I’ve been asking myself the same question for years and I’m no closer to an answer. Why tin? TIN?
It started raining when they arrived at the beach so they sheltered in an arcade. In this arcade, Connor found a flying carpet, because obviously. He took a ride on said carpet without his family noticing their dad had flown off into potential oblivion. Afterwards, he returned and carried on with life in such a nonchalant way. I almost wish I had Connor’s capacity to process life-altering events such as this in mere seconds.
Upon reflecting on these innocent, childlike stories I wrote when I was 9 and 10 years old, I’ve come to one overarching conclusion: All these main characters were frequent drug users. Flying carpets and dragons? Come on. The only normal fella here is Jack with his cowboy costume and even he’s slightly insane.
Outside the clear madness of these stories, I still love returning to them once I recover from the initial crippling cringe. I seemingly had an unhinged imagination, but it was so unrestricted I could have gone anywhere, at any time.
This post marks two years of my writing here on Substack, and it’s been beyond anything I could have imagined. Reflecting on the last two years, I wondered if 9-year-old Dylan with his clearly disturbed but unlimited imagination could have imagined this. It strikes me that perhaps he could have, and maybe I could learn a thing or two from him.
If you read this piece, thank you. I truly appreciate it. I wanted to give you something different and more personal for reading any of my pieces over the last two years, whether here on Geopolitics Explained, or through my other newsletter, Something Greater.
I feel as energized as I did the day I started, and I’m excited to see where we can take this, that being my newsletters, but also where Substack is heading itself. We all want to feel understood and seen, and Substack and the people here have created an environment that facilitates that. It’s like we’re all shaping where this place goes because it’s so interactive, and honest. As I’ve learned from 9-year-old me, who knows where it can go?
So to all of you, whether readers or fellow writers I’ve interacted with over the last two years, from the bottom of my heart, the deepest thank you.
After these two years, I’m not slowing down. Let’s go get it.
All my love,
Dylan.